there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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