If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
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