the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
