Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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