he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
