He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
