Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
