the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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