worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
