so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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