She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
