Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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