Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
