I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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