I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
