it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
