I want to walk on stilts...naked
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
