Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize