jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
