That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize