Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
