I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
