Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
