I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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