i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
