I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize