we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
