I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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