Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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