im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
smell my finger.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
