What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
3 2 1 whiskey
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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