quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
