I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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