too bad you live with your parents still
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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