Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
