4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
