He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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