Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i believe in u and ur pee
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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