No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
