Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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