tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
