I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize