Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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