U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize