I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
