I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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