just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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