you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize