no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize