just come out here and I will go home with you...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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