have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
