If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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