walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
