I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize