Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
