Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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