Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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