True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
