Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You can't motorboat a personality
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
